Wednesday, April 5, 2017

This is how you plan smashing birthday party for your wife

It's 15th of March,  morning 9:30. i just finished my  P90X3-challenge routine. My iPhone  starts singing "Tera Dhyaan kidhar hain, Tera Hero idhar hain" [Yep,  that's my ringtone, I love Bollywood. Tackier the better. ]

It is Anisha on the line. 

Anisha is Ammu's best friend, they have lived in adjacent buildings, they went to study in London together, they have broken beds as roomies, their friendship is truly international spanning India, London, Malaysia and U.S. and also Ani is queen of planning great parties.

Chapter 1. The Idea

Ani : Dhaval ammu's birthday is coming. kuch dhasu karte hain. what say ?

Me : Is It ?  Already ? lemme check ...... Oh God we are late ... We should plan something.

My guilty husband conscience kicked in. Ammu's birthday was in 15 days and i had not started planning. In some cultures they shave your head and people throw poop-stones at your face for this mistake.

Ani : Last year we did zip-lining, dinner with friends and we had a great relaxing sleep at movie batman vs superman. This year we have to outdo ourselves.

Me : Of Course !!! I have got a perfect plan. We wake her up in morning, We do horse-riding by the sea, we see sun-rise, sun-set, eat at indo-chinese restaurant and in the evening we go camping.

Ani : DHAVAL (capital and bold because ani yelled at me. )

A : Ammu is not made for morning darling and on her birthday if you want to wake her up, you better get ready for the Apocalypse.

B : Ammu cant tolerate campground washroom. She will go in to wash her face, look in the mirror, her OCD will kick in,  next thing she will start cleaning the washroom. Do you want your wife to clean toilets on her birthday ?

and lastly  C :  she does not like physical contact with any animal.

Me : I slightly whisper in my MIND ...  But Maple....

Ani : DHAVAL Maple is an exception, she is cute, looks like chocolate fudge brownie cake  and she never jumps on Ammu.

Here is Maple for you guys and i agree with Ani, Maple Rocks !!!

Me : Plan Ani... (Bringing conversation back to birthday.)

Ani : Now, Listen to my Idea. We will do a Mela(Carnival) themed birthday party. We will recreate all the things you get in a Mela. Balloon shooting, Ring throwing, Breaking  Pyramid of cans, some astrology should be there, Do you think we can do Ferris wheel ? I think we should do it.

Me : Wow ani you are a genius, ferris wheel is an over-stretch but i love the idea.

Ani : Achha what gift are u giving her ?

Me : Mela theme birthday party

Ani : No idiot!! party is something different, Gift is something that is mandatory, and third year ka gift should be mind blowing. 

Me : Hmmm .... 

New thing i got to know about myself. Normally i hate maths but when such ideas hit my brain, it starts doing floating point calculations. Human brain is a beautiful mystery.

Chapter 2.  The Gift

Let me take you guys one year back.

Me :  Ammu you should buy Apple watch yaar. you are working out, it would be great for counting calories. psychological motivation milega.

Ammu : Nice, I was thinking the same thing, Dhaval, Apple Watch is $299. Where are you going to buy it from ?

Me : Simple Ammu, You walk in the Apple Store, look at all expensive macs, play for sometime on new apple tv and buy the watch and come out with smile on face and dent in bank account.

Ammu looks at the ceiling, thinks about something and then starts fiercely typing on her macbook pro. I suddenly get what she is doing.

Me :  Ammu please don't go to "Bhikari ka katora" [ Craigslist.]

Ammu : Dhaval, Augustino is giving me watch for $110 

Me :  NO!!!

Ammu : Alfredo is selling with original packaging  $120

Me :  NO!!!

Ammu :  Dhaval it is just a watch !!!

Me :  Just a watch ?  it's an Apple watch and you should have a complete watch buying experience from Apple Store and respect Jony Ive.

Ammu :  Who is Jony Ive ?

Do you remember in old Hindi movies where when someone dies old women are banging their chests?  I did the same thing but with more drama.

Ammu :  Stop doing Natak and i read on the blog series 2 is coming out in october, i will buy the new version.

Me looking confused ...

Ammu : I do read Dhaval. Specially when news come on my facebook feed.

and everything is right in the world...

So in short, Apple watch new version comes out, Ammu does not buy it. So we have the same conversation one year later.

Me :   Ammu you have to buy apple watch, series 2 has come out.

Ammu : I was checking Dhaval,  Series 2 does not have a much difference than Series 1, they have only added water proofing and GPS.

Me :  Meri maa please kuch lele ...

Ammu looks at me sheepishly.

Me : Please don't buy from "Bhikari ka katora" [ Craigslist.]

Ammu buys a Apple watch series 2. She also buys 7 different bands for her watch, Her logic, "it should go with the mood i am feeling in the morning. "

She gets her gift a week before her birthday,  I come home from office in the evening and she has been alone with Apple watch for 5 hours.

Ammu : 
dhaval kapde fold kiye 9 calories
dhaval phone pe baat kiya 30 calories
dhaval workout karne ka socha 6 calories
dhaval 24 dekha 80 calories
I am burning more calories watching Jack Bower, than he is burning fighting that terrorist.

Me :  I am the best husband ever. 

Ammu :  No !!! Ameya bought iPhone 7 for Anisha this year.

Me : Well that's life Ammu. Aise toh Anil Ambani ne apne biwi ko 3 floor ka ship gift kiya.   Don't you love the watch  ?

Ammu :  Yes. I loves it. It is mines and i the keeps it.

Chapter 3. The Party 

Anisha's idea was amazing but we needed an army to execute the plan.

We started discussions on call, then moved to iMessage, then moved to whatsapp and then finally to a google sheet because there were too many things to co-ordinate. Here is the sheet for you guys to look at Ammu's Party Plan

Me, Ankita [Ani's little sister]  and Apeksha [Our close friend] bought all the decoration stuff from Costco, Dollar Store, Party City and setup the entire decor.

Ball Ball Bach Gaye : 

Ring Master Gogo :

Pyramid Tod :

Yep, One of our crazy friends actually drank that many cans of beer in 3 weeks. Thank you Buddy.

Ice Hockey :

Instant Bhavishya :

We had 125 different combination of fortunes for people, i put my ideas on the sheet and Ankita actually wrote them on paper.

The fortune that Ammu got was "Your greatest danger will be your stupidity"

The birthday celebration could not be confined only to U.S. People from India also wanted to participate.

Her Best Friend from India Meera and her husband Chirag came up with a lovely fortune prediction for Ammu. I am telling you guys, Chirag is a man of many hidden talents.

Reema, The birdie who visits us every single year had a quite fun prediction for Ammu too.

Dear Amu, 
This year is going to be fabulous. There will be adventures, snow, balmy days of sunshine too. There will be love, and lipcolours, stories and adrenaline rushes, treasures fit for a princess, because really, that's who you are. May no grease stain your ski jacket, may nobody spill things on your carpets and may there finally be affordable technology to fold freshly laundered clothes. 
Love, Reema

Kids had a blast they converted the carnival theme to Harry Potter theme. 

Below is some of our crazy group who celebrated Ammu's Birthday in U.S.

Our India Friends were no less. They celebrated Ammu's Birthday by calling her and waking her up. We missed you guys.

Party was fun wishes were pouring down in form of phone-calls, whatsapp messages, facebook messages, group messages, personal messages. Ammu was overwhelmed, happy and i think a little impressed.  Thanks to each and everyone of you who participated and enjoyed this madness. But it was not all over, Just as she thought the fun times are over ...

Chapter 4. One Last Thing

 There was a one week skiing holiday in Denver lined up for Ammu, Me and Amit. We spent 2 days skiing vail. It was one of the surreal experiences of my life. The views, mountains and resort is amazing.

There is one thing that Ammu always tells me.

Ammu : "I really feel happy doing things for others. The greatest joy is giving."

I guess she is right. I had more fun planning with her friends, building up the surprise and executing it to best of my ability to listen to three golden words from her.

Ammu : "Not Bad Dhaval"


  1. Very Amusing Dhaval! Its a terrific write up and not just because I am in it. Looking forward to more stories..

  2. Ok....Anisha...Ammu n u need to get Sam to plan something for meeeeee.....i dnt even get a flower.. .Boohoooooo.... But amazing stuff my darlings.... Stay happy always.

  3. You guys, this is adorable :)


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