Monday, September 20, 2010

Ek Pari

 

AARYA

 

Aasman ke khudaon ne, Jannaton ko sajai hain ,

Baharon ki Kaliyon ne , barson aas lagai hain ,

Hawaon ne sanson ko kuch aisi aawaz sunai hain ,

jiska muje intezaar tha kabse, aaj pari woh aayi hain !

 

 cutie

 

Pyaar chalakta uski aankhon se,

Jasba mohobbat ka saaya hain,

Lagta hain meri duwaon pe

Mera KHUDA muskuraya hain,

khwabon ke aasman se sajkar,

sapno ki doli me aayi hain

jiska muje intezaar tha kabse, aaj pari woh aayi hain !

 

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Noor unki aankhon ka dekho,

Har zarra Ghabraya hain,

chehre ki har harkat se ,

kaisa yeh sitam dhaya hain.

Chand bhi kurban ,dil bhi kurban,

kurban hua  humsaya hain.

Apne karishme se hairan hone

aaj khuda zameen pe aaya hain ,

muskan mein khushi , aankhon me jaadu

Har Chal mein masti le aayi hain

jiska muje intezaar tha kabse, aaj pari woh aayi hain !

 

Love is falling in love with same person again and again  finding something new everytime that is out of this world.

 

 

[* Note: Poetry is property of author himself and cannot be used or copied in any manner without his prior permission *]

Monday, September 13, 2010

Bekar Engineer : Exam Elimination The Finale

                                              Hey guys this is a story continuation it is request you read the starting of story here

Bekar Engineer :  (Viva Preparation) Exam Elimination Part 1


If you have already read it already you can continue the masti below....

Big day we call it Armaggadeon.

                             I was browsing my cupboard for a formal dress. After throwing like thousand t-shrits and hundred pants I found a plain black jeans and shirt. Now the important question is

where the F is the tie? ?? Oh dads marriage was put to a good use here. I took dads marriage-dress tie and was ready for the war.

Mom looks at me for her 3 step bye bye

Step 1 : The big Ekta Kapoor sindhur on my fore-head

Step 2 : The dahi mixed with million other religious substances

Step 3 : The nazar utaro round (my mom's favorite.)

Here thali goes 360 degrees round and round with my face as circumference 3 times. Now she slaps hard real hard on my right cheek. In Gujrathi family it is symbolized as act of love

And she finally says "Beta ab tu kya aayega, Teri Khabar hi aayegi..."

Mom act of Love

                                                    Finally  I reached my college. And there I see group of friends discussing something seriously at the canteen, munching the tasty wada-pav. I went and pushed  the group trying to make some place for me

 Gaurav :  "shh.... dhaval. chup karke dekh re ek toh banda bata raha hain tum masti karte ho..... "

 Sanket Katkar: " Ab dusre waale khadde mein baaki ka tie daalke dhire dhire pehle waala chota tie khichne kaa... aahista aahista.. aur tumhare tie mein perfect samosa  ban gaya  "

  Everyone Clapped. BullShit

The F bastards were discussing how to make a proper tie when they should be discussing process models. But mumbai engineers always gave priority to bullshit.

Now finally the bell rings and viva starts..

SHAKILA the don comes out

Shakila : "Roll no. 13,14 and 15 Come in fast with journals."

Meenal akankasha and SUHAS were the called out geniuses.

Akki started panicking

 Akki :  " SUHAS mera  journal le Gaya re.... main toh pakka fail hu where is he ??? " she started crying " shit man  puri raat padha tha, saala yeh gadhe ke bache ki wajah se fail ho jaane ka............. "

I personally hated viva's for this shit. Poor  girl was shit-scared and really crying for life.

Viva is the only prostitution where you pay to get yourself fucked.

and then SUHAS came running from mens loo.

  SUHAS : " Yeh le tera file "

  Akki :(hitting him hard) Kidhar tha kamine ??? (wiping tears and snatching the journal ) aur meri file ko kidhar leke kya karne gaya tha ??

  SUHAS : " muje Laga last number se Chalu hoga. is liye.. "

  Meenal : "Tu sochta kyun hain ? Tuje pata hain na tuje suite nahi karta ?"

First batch enters the lab absolute silence everywhere.

   Shakila : "So sab tayyar ? Kitna padha hain ?"

   Meenal : " Thoda Thoda sab kuch padha hain  mam." (Smart answer it meant she knew almost nothing.)

Month of may, Sun on the head and the viva room was as hot as hell and make it worse fans  were not working in labs. As it is SUHAS was already sweating...

  SUHAS : " kitna garmi hain idhar ..... "

  Shakila : "Kya bola ???"

  SUHAS : " kuch nai mam nothing ... "

 Shakila : [ She gave him look like he was gonna kill him.] Garmi hain na...... ek Kaam kar  Thandi me aa... Come next november. Go Get Lost.

  SUHAS : " Sorry mam sorry... "

 Shakila : SUHAS na... next semester ke pehle mu nahi dikhane ka jao aaram se thandi mein aao jao  [ she threw his journal on his face. ]

SUHAS comes out and does the "I m screwed " hand-sign and disappears again in loo.

Batch 1 comes out both girls almost crying... now it was our turn. Me Vaibhav and Mayuri.

Mayuri was my best friend. Girls as  you know are organized  as always. She had her and my journal ready we had a deal she would help me with diagrams and I would take care of viva and project presentation.

  Shakila : " So hero kya padha hain ???"

  Dhaval Pancholi : Mam pucho mam... [ this is the safest thing to say in

viva in this way you dont say how much u have learnt or not learnt. ]

  Shakila : " so tell me an example of AI Vaibhav ?"

Vaibhav looks at Mayuri looks down and does our TP (time pass ) action no. 48

                                     and looks at lap he is a gonner now. So now Shakila looks at Mayuri.

Mayuri knew only two words artificial intelligence and here is what she replies ...

 Mayuri Pimple :  [ English mode ]  Intelligence not in any human form is AI [ Marathi mode ]  toh vyakti cha swatah cha dimag nahi wapart nasto konta tari robot cha example ghew ya aapan. (bullshit in two languages best technique to pass in viva.)

Mayuri Pimple now gave away her innocent looks. I donno how but it always worked.

Shakila turns over to me now asks me something out of context , out of chapter, out of syllabus , out of computing history.

  Shakila :Ok dhaval I have 2 mountains with a valley between them now I have truck at height of. 1 mountain how do I get to another mountain ?

Ok now my turn. BULL SHIT QUESTION ........... WTF is this ??? i m a genious not a F rocket scientist ?? but all three of us knew i was so gonna bluff this one.....

 Dhaval Pancholi :  OK mam.  We will consider 2 mountains as two points and now we will calculate the shortest path between two  Points and now considering our object's width which is truck in this place we take the best path. We can use both DFS (Depth first Search) algorithm and BFS(breadth first search) algorithm to find the shortest path. I would personally go with BFS since our object would have big width.

Complete Bluff Had released an arrow in the Dark and Bam. i hit the target  WE SCORED.

 Shakila :  OK cool submit your files and call next batch.

                                                        I was saved. Results were out everybody passed.  i scored 22/25 and Mayuri Pimple  24/25 Did i forget to mention "our college was racist." Yes marathi students did get best marks in viva and had their work done quickly. So goes my another Best Post on Bekar Engineer. I hope you guys would love to comment as i have enjoyed writing it.

Keep Laughing,

Keep Smiling,

Always Yours,

Dhavalyours.

READ MORE BEKAR ENGINEER STORIES HERE

Bekar Engineer : Exam Elimination The Finale

Read more  Bekar Engineer stories here

Bekar Engineer : Jandu ki Kahani Hero ki Zubani

Bekar Engineer : Ek student College ki talash mein

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Bekar Engineer : (Viva Preparation) Exam Elimination Part 1


Hi all writing this blog post would be a real threat to my life. Some character names are been changed for my own security purposes. I know its risky but i wanted everyone to hear our story So buckle up and enjoy the wackiest Engineering exam ever.

   Mehul : Dhaval, SHAKILA Kal BAMBOO maarne waali hain.

Phone cut. Absolute silence . Maa... Dhuri All my balls in my mouth. Shit Man this woman is really gonna screw our batch.

36024_125865337453556_100000902714556_142208_7743192_nphoto courtesy Sarvesh Gaitonde.

 I was called the sms-man of my college. I wrote an sms " SHAKILA man viva tomm. 10 am sharp." and everybody understood this sharp meant a lot because 10 am and 1 freaking millisecond meant lecture elimination. I hit the send-to-all button.

Now i knew entire world is gonna call me and i m having 1 talkative sleepless night.


Call 1 Mayuri Pimple
  Mayuri Pimple : Dha saale nind kyun kharab karta hain re ?? Aur haan sab yaad karke  aana     main last viva mein absent thi.


 Dhaval Pancholi : Par mayu...


Phone disconnected. mayu had missed her last viva for her friends, friends 6th cousin 's 12'th Birthday party. YES such relations DID matter for mayu. by the way mayu was in my batch and my best friend.It was me Vaibhav and Mayuri.


Call 2 Amey A. Kulkarni
Phone rings rings and rings I m brushing my teeth so i don't pick it up. yes you do such weird stuff in engineering

  • You brush teeth at 1 pm.
  • You get bowel movements anytime.
  • You have lunch at 3 am yeah  if u call it lunch.

Read more Engineering disasters here, here  and here.


 Amey A. Kulkarni : dhaval Kal viva hain kaya ??


 Dhaval Pancholi : (Yes einstein why on earth i would message you ??) but i say "Haan yaar"


  Amey A. Kulkarni : Kinna portion hai? ?


   Dhaval Pancholi : Oh shit yeh toh maalum nahi ruk 5 minute mein re-call karta hu.


Now i call Mehul Again.

  Dhaval Pancholi : Saale  kitne chapter hain re ??

  Mehul Prajapati :- 3, 4 bol rahi thi re, thik se Yaad nai aa raha hai.. 

   Fucking 1 chapter meant memorizing 200 more pages of absolute bullshit. And this Mother F says yaad  Nahi aa raha.

  Mehul Prajapati :-3, 3 pakka ......... haan haan pakka 3 hi hain re.


  Dhaval Pancholi : Mehul aur ek Baar soch le because if u r wrong apna CO3A batch will rip my balls off man.
I revert back to amey and the last call was of
RAJ (yes right out of bollywood film industry )


 RAJ : Dhaval Should I visit a hair dresser because she kindda hates my pony man? ? Par Sala pony kataya toh girl-friend klpd de Degi
(klpd means khade L pe dhoka. now if u dont understand meaning of L you are not educated enough to read my blog )

                                So this was it for the night. The new Day came anticipated and scary.
I would really like to continue but then this blog post would become big real big so for your convenience and my SEO benefit would write the real via story in my next blog post.

Bekar Engineer : Exam Elimination The Finale

Read more 
Bekar Engineer stories here
Bekar Engineer : Jandu ki Kahani Hero ki Zubani
Bekar Engineer : Ek student College ki talash mein

Thursday, September 2, 2010

Gokulashtami : The spirit of Mumbai







Mumbai Is sheher ko jitna dekho roz thoda aur dikhta hain





Here i show you gokulashtami festival in mumbai.



We start with celebrations.






We make our own challenges


We are always togather to face the challenges.




                                                      Yes we do touch our success before actually rejoicing with it.

                                                                                        We hang along till we really win.


                                                                            We are always together when we fall.



                                                Our hero's are independent of  "Age" Factor.