Saturday, July 10, 2010

Bekar Engineer : Ek student College ki talash mein

                                             Oh my God kinda response i got my first series of  Bekar Engineer : Jandu ki kahani Hero ki zubani  was amazing. I m getting a feeling of being a miniature Chetan Bhagat already.  Journey continues as follows ...
    After having cheek-smashing thappad-resultive session with 'PAPA' i had no choice what-so-ever so i called  Soham

 call rings..... ring 1... ring2 ... ring3 ...

Soham :  (almost catching his breadth ) Baap ne kitna thappad maara ???            

Bekar Eng. : ( How can entire Muchhala Polytechnic know my father more than me  ?) Chod yaar bata form kidhar se lena hain ?

Soham : Ahmad tha kya ??  ha ha .. i would  have paid a million dollar to see u getting samshed in front of your dad. Saale chaddi pehen ne ki akkal hain nai dukan dalega ??? Kal Vasai milte hain subah  7:30 baje sharp.

Bekar Eng. : Abe Rajdhani ko salaam dega kya 7:30 baje. form submission kabhi  shuru hoga ?

Soham : Pagal  Vasai mein 3 college 8:00 baje chalu hote hain. 7:30-9:30 2 ghanta devi-darshan karna hain  10:30 ko vartak mein form submit karna hain. Aur haan BHIKARI Rs.800 leke aana form bharne ke liye utna jol lagta hain.

Phone Disconnected. ok i had to reach at 7:30 to chedofying the vasai chicks no issues i m always obliged to do community service any day,any where,any time.

Boss what is this ? amount of respect i had gained in friends was directly proportional to number of times India had won the football world-cup 0.

Pappa : What happened ?

Bekar Eng. :  Vartak College 7:30 Rs.800 (i tried to keep short and sweet.)

Pappa : Whom did u call ?

Bekar Eng. : Soham.

Pappa : Do u knw he does'nt have any sense of responsibility ?? Why did u not call Savio ?

Bekar Eng. : He has no sense at all. In 1947  Bloody Britishers took his  intellect,sanity with them and since then the Daemon is dancing on our heads.

Pappa :  (Detective Daddy ) But, Why do u have to go at 7:30 ?

Bekar Eng. : Devi-darshan.

Bhavna Ben (My Mom)  : Saw i told u na.. i prayed maa Jagdamba... one thousand times to get my sweet Dhavu...  Go beta  Go and take Rs. 100 more and she looks at me  in the most filmy way.

Bekar Eng.  : Thnx Mom.

Now that is one deadly advantage you get being born in a Gujrati family. Whenever God comes around your  mom will do anything for u and that is 1 more reason why i love my mom the most.

7:30 am Vasai Platform  Soham , Viral , Ghantuda (Hemanshu Modi) , Jandu ( Dhaval Kansara ) were standing under the platform indicator as they promised.

Ghantuda : 5 minute pehle aata na maa kasam kya maal thi re kya maal thi...

Allow me to introduce Ghantuda meeting him once nobody would deny that he has twice as many hormones as a Chimpanzee and almost any thing in undergarments could get him excited.

i was looking at Viral
Viral  is a smart Dude i personally call him Chick-Magnet, I dont know about other things but when Viral says Dude chick's hot she would be a class in herself. Like 2 sentences i used to boast a lot 

You can't teach Bill Gates how to compute and
You can't teach Viral  how to flirt. Its in their DNA.

Ghantuda : Bekar Eng. 8:55 Platform no.2  takle ke baju mein green saari.

Soham : Gujju hain re,

Viral : Gujju ladkiyan maal hoti hain.

Jandu : Shaadi ke Pehle, Shaadi k baad Maal-Gaadi ban jaati hain !!!

After like face-browsing 428 chicks around  and this number excludes 340 aunties been stared, glared, imagined, processed by Ghantuda ka imaginative mind. Don't freak out !!! yes i used to count the amount of girls we stared it had logical two reasons

  • i used to convince myself i have utilized my two hours completely.
  • i get to improve my mathematical skills.
Vartak college  thousands of people running around. we saw 30-40 guys from our class filling some form. Jandu yawned. we were like clueless
Soham entered class room and shouted. 

Soham : kya faltu giri hain boss. Sab chal kya raha hain
Every body looks at him. and gradually to us accompanying him.

Bekar Eng. :
Yeh hamare saath nahi hain. 

i know how much i hated to do this. but i called Savio

Bekar Eng. : oye savy bol na yaar kya karna hain kuch samaj nahi aa raha.

Savio : Dude these guys have inter-college Bachelor in Computer engineering  and Bachelor in Information technology form. You have to pay 500 bucks to the blue-shirted gentle man over there who would give you a green form, a white form and a college information brochure. Now depending upon your area of interest and  your percentage you have to choose 30 of 895 colleges listed in brochure to apply for. { getting enthusiastic and light glowing in his eyes through his 50 inch eye-glasses. YES like every other scholar Savio did have thick glasses. } Mumbai  university has  this solid process where using an computer algorithm and your percentage and your college priority you will be allotted a college. 

Jandu : kya bola ?? saala ganja maar ke aaya hain kya??

That was the problem with Savio he couldn't speak English. Not the one we understood. we did the obvious we went over to the blue peon his name was Vilas. 

Soham : ( giving  Rs. 50 to peon) are yaar form bharwa dena  sirf 4 log hain .

Vilas : (very happy ) kuch nai re yeh white form pe apna naam, baaju mein  baap k naam likho. 

Jandu  : Woh college ka naam kidhar likhna hain ??

Vilas :  Are tension nako re.  Kisi ne likha rahega chaap lene ka.
we were mumbai university students !!! Nobody in the world understood meaning of word chaap leneka more than us. We could  xerox copy anything from a C program to assignment. We excelled in that.

Ghantuda :  Savio college list de.

Savio giving the college brochure

Soham : abe saale yeh toh sabke pass hain !!! Tuje chahiye toh  mera brocher bhi ghar leke jaa tune jo college ka list bhara hain woh de.

Savio : No no i have filled acording to my percentage. You know i was first in our college and i got 86%. Mera college mein tumko admission nahi milega.

Viral  was writing something very carefully.

Bekar Eng. : kya kar raha hain ?

Viral : Savio  ka form hain baat kar raha hain tab tak chaap le. ( he winked.)

    And that was the way how we filled our engineering forms. We were blank as always but we were pretty confident that we were right since we copied from the topper. and  i hit the Target

BAM  I got admission to one of the coolest college's in Mumbai  RGIT   Hey hang on guys for my third part in series 

Bekar Eng. : Fresher ka pehla din

If you have smiled even a bit, and enjoyed story of our Bekar Engineer Comment as much as you want. Seeing your response i would definitely release third part ASAP.

Keep Laughing,
Keep Smiling,
Always Yours,

IndiBlogger - The Indian Blogger Community      

Thursday, July 8, 2010

Web Technology :Art of Communication

After getting my ABC's clear, a special someone( tweeted 'm confused by your site/software, a "feedback" button just pisses me off. The "feedback" button helps YOU, not ME. Where's MY button?' Hey she is right. Feed Back Button Helps the makers of the application. What about the really angry guy who is just not getting what he wants to do. Don't even think about talking HELP ME links . Even some of the Best Websites Fail in giving perfect Help Me solutions to users. WHY ?

1) Seldom People use Help Me
2) Few get the links to solution For their Problem
3) Very Few actually manage to solve their Problems
4) What does your website provide for a really.......... really,really pissed off user ?

        How about Giving user a WTF button where he can abuse his heart out. He can clearly tell the Makers "IF YOU HAVE GIVEN YOUR BEST... YOUR BEST IS NOT GOOD ENOUGH... YOUR BEST SUCKS".
Still thinking how this helps ? Hey your User is not some Dumb Guy wasting his Internet Money only to see your screwed up work. Remember he is the ULTIMATE CLIENT. So we do not create what we Like but we Create how HE would LIKE IT. You are not abusing a web user OR not decreasing your website credibility by adding WTF. You are giving user respect. Treating him as your equal which he would always Love.
And Yes Bolder The Copy Higher The Attention.

How about making your website user's Best Buddy. Communicate the way user likes to be interacted. Give a rocking young feeling to your website. So Let's Take this to another Level. Why Only restrict users just to abuse Also give him tongue to make u happy. How about ... Fucking Awesome Button

Imagine a Social Network where User's Profile's are graded slang way. There was this One Adobe Seminar I attended. The Guy began with a really great Slogan "Customer Is King. You Guys[Developers] are King Makers. The real awesome product is the one which Makes your Customer Feel King". Dozen's of words used around the web today on Orkut scraps Twitter tweets Facebook Updates Like Lol'z, ROFL,OMG,brb
I totally agree i would not have all people liking my IDEA. But Hey at least buzz is created. Your site is in news You got publicity,You got appreciation, What else matters. The point is You may Like this Post. You may Dislike it. But hey you cannot Ignore it.

Saturday, July 3, 2010

The A,B,C's of Digital Blogging

Every person has a writer soul in him, the difference is whether he is worse than others or not. Well i stepped in the baby world of blogging i had just 2 things in mind.
  •  Write Great content and get thousands of fans making me famous.
  •  Try to make some buck out of my writing talent.
I FAILED.  and the obvious reason was  i wrote  great article, and expected my popularity grow and be followed by thousands of fans etc. but it didn't happen. I realized its not about publishing great content its also about letting the world finding it. So below are few points for new bloggers to let world know what they do write.

1) Let the search engines, blogging-search engines know you. Open an account at Technorati. Verify your blog token by publishing a post and include your token in it. This is my token as i publish the post MJ3KTW54MR. Technorati comes to your blog once in a day so it will scrape the new content.

2) Hey you also might wanna ping the world about your new post. You can try Ping-O-Matic. Go to PIng-O-Matic, Enter your blog details select all and click PING.

3) Web is also similar webblog post pinging site.

4)  You can open account in  Indi-Blogger and get listed.

Final few words as my marketing team told me Blog regularly, market regularly and find some way to get your money rolling